DENVER — Things for Daniel Bard have been admittedly "Yippy." The 37-year-old Colorado Rockies relief pitcher started the season on the 15-day injured list with anxiety, a full 12 years after his first battle with the disorder.
"You're thinking about it away from the field, you're thinking, 'okay, what am I going to do tomorrow, what could I have done yesterday?' Your mind is kind of always in the future or the past," Bard said. "That's probably the biggest thing I've worked on and tried to get better at, being in the moment, being here today, being present, finding something good to focus on for the day."
But that was a bit easier said than done.
"When you're in the heat of it and it's more intense, there's physiological stuff going on and some chemical stuff going on in the brain," he said. "I think that was the hardest thing. I didn't think my life was ending or anything and it wasn't catastrophic anxiety, for some people I know it is, but for me I just felt off and it was affecting my ability to do my job, to be the best husband I can be, to be the best dad I can be, all of the things that are really important to me. Once I realized it was affecting those things, it was 'let's just deal with this' and just try to get out in front of it."
The decision to put himself on the 15-day injured list on Opening Day did not come easily, but it was the only way to address it head-on.
"It was hard, but at the same time, I knew that trying to battle through it was not going to go well. I might've been able to hide it a little bit and grind through it, but I knew that I wasn't going to be the best version of myself for my teammates," he said.
A few months later, Bard says he's in a good place in his mental health journey.
"I'm back doing the thing I love, getting to compete. Being in a place where I feel comfortable on the mound and off the field, just makes it a lot more fun and makes it a lot easier to handle the adversity. Kind of expecting those things and being confident in my ability to handle them as they come, that's life, you know? It's never going to be easy, you just got to trust your ability to get through some hard things."
Bard is posting a .69 ERA with 10 strikeouts and a 1.31 WHIP over 13 innings pitched through 12 games in 2023.
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