KUSA – Behind every secret is a story – the kind of story that shapes a life.
Those are the stories told in a basement room inside the Montview Boulevard Presbyterian Church in Park Hill. Each month, about a dozen people gather together and take a seat in a circle behind long, white tables. They take turns talking. Everyone listens.
“I think I told my best friend from childhood and she was like, ‘what?! You were adopted?'” said Suzanne Behrens. “You know, nobody knew.”
Their stories are shared openly and honestly among accepting people.
“It’s been awhile since I’ve been here in the group, but it’s good to be back,” Eric Hjalmquist said with a smile.
Some of their stories have tragedy. Others include a touch of comedy. Each has a common theme.
“I knew my whole life that I was adopted,” said Emily Buchan
Most knew from a young age.
“I really knew nothing about my father’s side, but I always felt that I had siblings,” said Diana Hochbers.
“I wondered who my parents were and I thought about searching,” Behrens said.
The Adoption Search Resource Connection group meets in Park Hill a couple times each month. Almost everyone is an adoptee, including one of the adoption counselors who helps lead the discussion.
“I have been in reunion with both sides for coming up on 18 years,” Kathy Mackechney said. “I guess we are at the adolescent stage of our reunion,” she added with a laugh.
Many of the meetings feature presentations or lectures that help participants in their search for family. Many of the adoptees have tales to tell of DNA test results and long-fought battles to obtain birth records.
“Eventually, [I] won my court battle and had my records unsealed,” Buchan said.
Some of the adoptees have found family and are navigating new relationships. Some have made very recent discoveries.
“I found my grandmother,” Hochbers said, holding up a black and white photo. “This is Ruby.” She grinned.
Sharing those discoveries is the best part because many know what it’s like.
“Four years ago, I was reunited with my mother – my birth mother,” Hjalmquist said.
“Last year on Ancestry, we found our older brother,” said Steve Willi.
Their stories are far from perfect.
“It’s been a roller coaster reunion. Up and down, up and down, up and down,” said Kathy Aderhold.
“It wasn’t my fairytale family, but it’s really good,” said Behrens. “I’m in contact every single day with a full biological brother and my half-sister. I visit my mother every single week.”
Sharing their stories gives them the courage to search and bring secrets out in the open.
The Adoption Search Resource Connection group gets together at 7:30 p.m. the last Tuesday of each month at Montview Boulevard Presbyterian Church on Dahlia Street. Anyone is welcome to drop in and join the discussion.
