DENVER - It’s amateur night! And while some might choose to stay in this New Year’s Eve, thousands upon thousands more people will descend upon the bars of Colorado and beyond for champagne toasts, beer sampling and general revelry beneath firework-lit skies.
But, on this day of celebration, take a moment and think about those brave men and women who will be letting you into their car after you ponder why, exactly, Barb persuaded you to take that sixth tequila shot, and who will be depositing you home before the Jan. 1 sense of profound regret truly sets in.
This is a story about your Uber and Lyft drivers … and what you can do to make their nights a little bit easier.
1. If you’re going to force a conversation, avoid the usual stuff
*Gets into Lyft*
Don’t say it.
Don’t say it.
Don’t say it.
… so, how long you been Lyfting for? Do you do this full-time?
You don’t need to ask this. There are millions of other topics. There are millions of other things to address.
And sometimes, silence is beautiful.
2. Don’t puke in the Uber
You’re an adult. New Year’s Eve isn’t your first rodeo. You know how to handle your liquor now, right? Right. So don’t puke in an Uber. You’re better than that. KEEP IT TOGETHER.
Also, if you do puke in an Uber or Lyft, it will cost you at least $250. There are better uses for your $250.
3. Tip with cash
Want to really make someone’s night when they are putting themselves in the trenches to make sure you get home safe?
Give them five stars, and tip them in cash rather than in the app. This works out better for everyone -- and might earn you five stars or at least some good karma heading into the New Year.
4. Just keep it together, ok?
When your ride-share is coming, be ready to go. Wait where you’re supposed to wait. Don’t order one more drink and slowly say your farewells to everyone around you.
And, once you’re in the car, know where you’re going. Be capable of getting out of the car and to that place yourself.
Again: you’re an adult. You know how to handle your liquor.
5. Your Uber/Lyft driver is not a certified therapist
Look, sometimes you have a lot to unpack. And after a few drinks (especially if it’s wine), dwelling on the wrongs of 2018 might make you kinda emotional.
And sure, you might have been ghosted by your boyfriend of multiple years or you just realized your late hamster did really love you, but you know who doesn’t care? Your Uber/Lyft driver. They just want to make some money and get you home safe.
They also don’t want to deal with a crying drunk man at 2 a.m. Keep it together.
6. Your Uber/Lyft driver is also not certified in conflict resolution
If you’re having a fight with your significant other, wait until you get home.
Otherwise, you’ll just make everyone uncomfortable.
7. Don’t leave your trash behind
Sure, you might have totally needed that bag of chips to soak up the nine vodka sodas you drank to conserve calories, but that’s not an excuse to leave your crumbs all over your Uber or the crumbled bag sitting on the seat.
Clean up after yourself. You’re an adult.
8. Don’t hit on your Lyft/Uber driver … especially if they aren’t reciprocating
This is a no-brainer, but they’re just there to take you home … not go home with you.
9. Be a decent human being
That means saying “please” and “thank you,” as well as leaving a tip (see above), not making a mess, being polite, and just in general treating people like you’d want to be treated.