COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Inside the Satellite Hotel in southern Colorado Springs, contractors are working on the new home of Club Q. The sounds of drills and hammering permeate the office of Michael Anderson, vice president of operations.
"It's a good noise because things are happening, and it shows work's being done, progress is being made, and that's all I really want right now," Anderson said.
One year after the mass shooting, Anderson is trying to reinvent the bar which has been a space for the LGBTQ+ community in Colorado Springs for years.
"To see this come to life is healing, it's cathartic," Anderson said.
He was bartending the night that Daniel Aston, Derrick Rump, Ashley Paugh, Raymond Green Vance, and Kelly Loving were killed. Instead of reopening at the same location as the shooting, "The Q by Club Q" will be housed inside the Satellite Hotel about four miles away.
"Having this new venue is gonna be a massive healing for a lot of people," Anderson said.
However, healing for some is not healing for Ashtin Gamblin.
"It's been a road," Gamblin said. "There's not anything to sum up how I've been, other than everything has been chaos."
Gamblin was working the door that night. She was shot nine times in both arms and her chest, and has had issues with her left hand related to the injuries. One year later, she still struggles.
"Always an ongoing thing, hasn't really quite ended for me," Gamblin said.
However, it's more than the physical wounds that are causing her pain. Gamblin does not want Club Q to reopen.
"Nobody wants to party where their friends died," Gamblin said.
She does not want it to reopen in the old location or the new one. Gamblin believes more of the donations collected over the past year should have gone to support victims like her.
"How much did you actually receive and how much of that is just decided to go into a new bar for you?" Gamblin asked.
Mason Camp agrees. He was not at Club Q the night of the shooting. But, he got a terrible phone call the next day.
"There was a shooting last night," Camp recalled hearing. "Derrick's gone and we don't know about Daniel.
Derrick Rump and Daniel Aston were two of his good friends.
"It's still been very difficult," Camp said "It still doesn't feel real sometimes that they're not here."
Camp and Gamblin said the money is one thing, but the treatment of the victims by Club Q is another. Camp said people who were injured like Gamblin and people in mourning like himself feel discarded.
"As that crisis and the aftermath unfold, you see who is actually trying to support their community and who is only looking to gain for themselves," Camp said.
They say these are the things that are at the heart of a rift growing over the past year between Club Q and the local LGBTQ+ community.
"This could've been a huge opportunity for the community to really come together to be strong to support one another, to do all things that you expect to happen," Camp said.
Gamblin said this is not like the aftermath of other mass shootings.
"We should've just been together for each other and working through whatever it is and you know lifting each other up," Gamblin said.
Anderson acknowledges the frustrations on all sides.
"Immediately after the shooting, there was unity like I've never seen," Anderson said. "Shortly, maybe two months, three months later, you know, the community just, it was like a bomb went off and it just divided."
Anderson said money has been dispersed, but he said Club Q is in a no-win situation.
"Part of the reason we're here to do this is hopefully to build a bridge," Anderson said. "Hopefully to provide a new space for people to kind of mend those relationships and really come back together, unify again and heal together because right now, this community is equal to a snake eating its own tail."
No matter how much work is done, Camp said some things cannot be rebuilt.
"At the end, it should always be about people and your community before your buildings and your things," Camp said.
Gamblin hopes The Q by Club Q fails.
"Nobody's thrilled about this reopening," Gamblin said. "We don't care for it. We don't want anything to do with it."
Gamblin and Camp do not want anything to do with the new club, with Anderson, and with the owner of Club Q.
"It is empty and I hate them both," Camp said.
One year later and some wounds just won't heal.
"It's not been an easy year for anybody," Anderson said.
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