DENVER — How does a mother process the unexpected news that her unborn baby has a 0% chance of survival?
“They literally said 'plan her funeral,' ” said Mama Bear author Shirley Smith. “How do you deal with that?”
A former Denver Broncos wife, Smith started a foundation to help NICU families after her own daughter was born early, at 21 weeks.
On New Year’s Day 2017, Smith, who was five months pregnant, went to the hospital with stomach pains. A beta strep infection led to hemorrhaging.
“When I went to the doctor, they [were] like ‘Oh no, call your husband, you’re about to have this baby’,” Smith said. “I’m coming in here for just cramps and now you’re telling me that I’m about to have her? Now you’re telling me I’m about to have her and she’s not going to live?”
Dakota Smith was 1 pound at birth. At the time, she was the youngest preemie in the history of the U.S. Dakota spent 141 days in the NICU, the neonatal intensive care unit.
“I didn’t even know five years ago what a premature baby is. I said, ‘What is that? I don’t even know what the word means,' " Smith said.
What she also didn’t know at the time was that Black women in the United States are 50% more likely to have a premature baby than white women, according to the Center for Disease Control, pointing to socioeconomic inequalities that lead to disparities in quality education, health care and a lack of health benefits.
The CDC also said Black infants die at more than two times the rate of white babies.
“We need to do better with being more informed and educating one another and being of support.” Smith said. “You don’t have to do it on your own. You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Smith has started building an NICU community one parent at a time through her nonprofit My Kota Bear. From hosting a community baby shower for 100 women to providing emotional support to those who find themselves her shoes.
As for Dakota, the micro-premie who wasn’t supposed to make it through the day, she has made it through 1,914 and counting.
Dakota has developmental delays, but through therapy and an integrated school program, she is living more of a normal life each day.
“I’m so excited," Smith said proudly. "I’m so blessed to see where she is now at 5. When they say she isn’t going to live 5 minutes.”
One thing Dakota can count on: Her ‘mama bear’ will guide her every monumental step of the way.
To learn more about Smith's nonprofit, visit mykotabear.com.
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